Being homeless was tough.
I would recommend the experience to everyone though.
Especially if you have to sleep in the cold, because it really can make you tough.
For a brief time for about seven months, I went homeless and was sleeping in my truck.
It was ending winter, and entering spring, though this winter decided to linger a bit longer than usual.
This is how I stayed strong and motivated during my time living out of my truck.
In this post I’m also going to share what I wrote in the journal I kept while doing a program called 30 Days of Discipline.
(WARNING: JUST LETTING YOU KNOW IN ADVANCE, PART OF THIS GETS A LITTLE X-RATED.)
What kept me strong and motivated while homeless:
1) Having a long-term vision for my future.
This kept me motivated to keep fighting, to stay out of depression.
I’ve always wanted to design and make my own brand of t-shirts, so I would work on my shirt business as often as I could.
Working on this gave me something to hope for and work toward.
Even though I couldn’t afford to actually run a business, I found joy in the creativity, doing research, and having my journal open to write out ideas and plans until I could bring my vision to life.
I never let my creative fire die.
2) Keeping a journal about my goals and day-to-day experiences.
I wrote down what was on my mind. It gave me the sense I was getting out anything that stressed me. It was kind of like having everything filed away by writing it down. It helped me to keep clear and focused.
3) Exercise and eating as healthy as possible helped give me a lot of energy and clarity as well.
Low sugar, eating foods with protein, and healthy carbs.
The gym was where I would get showers, and I took cold showers too, which was part of the 30 Days of Discipline program.
I did have fast food at times, but for the most part I ate healthy.
In addition to being focused on my goals, I used a supplement called kratom to help stay calm, focused, and happy.
Kratom is a plant that is related to the coffee plant. They crush the leaves down to a fine powder. You consume it just by washing it down with water, or mixing it with a drink.
There are different varieties, or strains of kratom. Some strains help you to get relaxed and focused. Other strains make you feel good and want to be social.
Kratom is legal in the United States, though some people want to label it as a drug you get high on. I don’t agree at all.
You should do your own research because you will discover that it is good. There are some countries where it is illegal.
I’ve never been high, and have never done drugs. A lot of what has been said about kratom is a bunch of bull.
I wanted an all natural way to help with anxiety and depression. If I could find a way to not have to take man made medicine, I was going to go down that route.
I didn’t want to put man-made junk into my body.
Kratom was a great option.
I found a great company called Happy Hippo. They have excellent customer service, and an excellent product.
Plus they also throw in a little extra when you order more than $50 worth.
You can check them out at www.HappyHippoHerbals.com
There is also another company called Imperial Kratom, located in my area who offer an excellent product. They also have fantastic customer service.
You can find them at www.TheHerbsYouWant.com
Kratom helped me stay calm and focused during those tough times.
I had been homeless a few times before, and had always worked two or more jobs at a time.
I was always against taking anything to help with stress, depression, or anxiety because I had the mentality to just tough it out, which I did. Taking anything, to me was a sign of weakness.
However I came to believe that chronic stress can lead to damage to your nerves, to your body. I was experiencing it.
I became more unable to focus like I had during my twenties, and I had a lot of anxiety and depression. My symptoms also had a lot to do with the stresses of money, not earning enough to live on, as well as losing custody of my son to his mom, having to start paying child support again, and being held in contempt of court.
Mostly I was worried about the emotional and physical
When I experienced kratom, I realized that I could have accomplished much more, had I not been so caught up in battling worry and other emotional distractions. I am talking about YEARS of fighting chronic poverty among other things related.
Kratom was a huge help to get me focused again on the work I needed to do to survive.
5) I made extra money.
I used Craigslist to respond and post ads to make extra money.
When you hit the bottom financially, making more money takes the weight off tremendously, even if you aren’t able to save most of what you make.
I was not in a financial postion to save even enough to rent a room, but still walking away with $80 in cash after a few hours of helping someone move, takes the edge off because you know you at least have some lunch money for the week.
Whether it be Craigslist jobs or even clocking in to some part-time gig, making more money makes you feel better and motivated.
And no it is not the same as clocking in for a “good job” because you are settling for a job you hate.
The only reason to work ANY job, is to use the money to invest in your personal freedom, to get ahead.
6) I followed the 30 Days of Discipline workbook:
My 30 Days of Discipline
There were several circumstances outside of my immediate control that threw me out on the streets.
The mental and physical exercises helped me get focused and strong.
Check it out: www.30DaysofDiscipline.com
It was the first week of March. I had purchased a copy of 30 Days of Discipline literally moments before I went out on the streets, like about 20 minutes after.
It was a week later that I began the program, March 9th.
Here now is all that I wrote in my journal during that time.
A lot of it I just jotted down sporadically, and the longer parts are unedited in the notebook.
I am adding part of it here edited for easier reading, and part of it in pictures.
Day 1: 100 pushups, situps, squats
(Began with 31 pushups, 20 situps, 85 squats, then finished with reps of 10 until I got to 100)
I took a cold shower. It was very cold on my scalp, so cold my head hurt like an icecream headache.
Afterwards, I threw up.
Day 2: 32 pushups, 25 situps, 40 squats, then ten reps until complete 100.
Day 3: Got up at 6am.
Had alarm set at 5am, but for some reason slept until 6am. (I probably didn’t hear the alarm)
Slept at Wendy’s because I went to help her pick up a futon.
Got to the gym at 5:30pm after some heavy traffic. Was back on the interstate 20 minutes later, and at 6:04 arrived at Cookout.
They have wi-fi so I thought I would eat there and save some time, and find someone to spend the night with.
(I did not have a cell phone yet. I used an old cell phone to connect to Wi-Fi to reach out to people.)
Left and went to my storage room to grab my workout shorts.
Did 33 pushups, 33 situps, then 33 squats,
Then 17, 17, 17,
Then 10, 10, 10
Until I got to 100 total.
Took a cold ass shower.
I decided to make the cold water my bitch, to suck my dick.
Cold water: She’s my bitch.
Sleeping in the truck tonight.
– Work out
– Get the announcements up for AlleyTees.com
Day 4: Wednesday 3/12
Got to Maria’s to work on Alley Tees a little after 5:30.
Took ten minutes to reorganize the truck.
Went inside, did my routine of 100s.
Started working on Maria’s computer. Turns out a simple art program can’t do what I need.
It’s 7:01pm and I go out to the truck to get the Mac to hook up.
Maria is asking when she can get her computer back. I tell her now.
I hook up the Mac but no Internet. Call the cable company. After a short time it is fixed. Maria is trying to get me to listen to and watch a couple of Opera music videos.
I quickly eat a slice of Mexican pie.
By the time I am ready and set up, it is 8pm.
I have one hour before Allen gets home so I have to be out of there because he likes an empty house so he can chill out after work.
I manage to edit the image best I can, and have a post written and ready by 8:45.
…and I’m out of there right at 9pm.
Sleeping in the truck.
It is very cold and windy outdoors.
Day 5: March 13
Every day it feels like I am getting stronger.
As the winter fades, some days and nights are warm. Others are cold like last night. It’s still windy.
I have $43 for all next week until next Thursday, but should be making $40 helping Kelli and Robbie move some photography equipment on Saturday.
Did my workout, cold shower.
Bought bread for the weekend, got a burrito, and now it’s 9:15pm.
Tomorrow I am picking up my son but don’t know where we’re staying yet.
I woke up at 6:38am. All the other days at 5am.
Today I can sleep in.
Wendy has let me stay at her house this weekend.
I hook up the Mac mini and begin working on Alley Tees.
But I am also refreshing the browser on Craigslist gigs section to find some side work for the day.
I literally have less than $30 to last the weekend with my son, and until my next pay day on Thursday.
Fuel expense and child support has left me drained.
I find a gig on Craigslist and make $50 in three hours, and then another $40 directly after, helping my friends move their photography equipment from an event.
My son says he wants some Chinese, so we stop for dinner.
Did my 100 reps before working the Craigslist gig in the morning.
Woke up a little before 7am.
Finished up an Alley Tees post.
Read 30 Days of Discipline to refresh my mind.
Had Andrew back at 6pm where his mom is throwing me the blame for his “bad behavior”.
I am still of the opinion that he has good behavior. He is fine with me, and I continue to let him know that when he is with me, and he is.
He is a good kid.
I was consistent with him for the 13 months I had custody. His behavior was fine.
Day 9: March 17
Last night I bought a chicken sandwich after I dropped off my son, then went to sit in Starbucks. The girl gives me a free coffee.
I was done with my goals and to-do list for the week ahead.
Tried to NOT focus on the to-do list and goals for the week ahead, so I could relax my mind, but I couldn’t help but to try to figure out what I could do, or do better.
Tried to find someone to hang out with. Facebook is my only way to reach out to anyone. I use the Wi-Fi because I still don’t have a phone.
I can’t afford to just use gas and ride around.
Left Starbucks at 9:50pm .
My mom lives in an old trailer with my sister 13, my other sister, her two kids, and my brother.
Last week I went inside to change socks and brush my teeth.
As I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom, I felt a tickle on my arm hairs near my elbow.
It was a roach.
In less than five minutes, a fucking roach already on my arm.
So I didn’t feel like parking my truck there to sleep.
Rode off to the country to where a couple friends live, cut off the headlights, crept the truck down the driveway a little bit, and parked for the night.
I couldn’t sleep, and it is usually hard to sleep.
Because it is cold, it is not easy.
My mind races.
I start to get horny.
I’ve got this hard on but I don’t have anyone to hook up with, and part of the 30 Days of Discipline program calls for NO masturbation!
My mind is racing with images of girls I am acquainted with, and others my mind generates. It begins to get crazy as my mind begins to wander…
First scenario that plays in my mind is a girl getting into the truck with me, riding me, then blowing me to finish.
Then I see two girls taking turns blowing me, then fucking me.
Then, the image of this rocker chick I’m acquainted with is on a bed on her knees blowing me, while another guy is getting her from behind. Then it switches to where I am the observer, she is on some guy riding him on top, her ass toward me, while she is sucking off two other guys.
This sudden increase in horniness had came that Saturday afternoon. I’d felt it like it just hit me.
Random regular urges are usual but it’s more than usual.
I want to devour someone!
I did masturbate. I was jacking it but kept fighting the urge to release.
I kept stopping, swearing that I would stick to the plan.
It was getting colder.
I wrapped up the best I could, eventually falling asleep but waking up occasionally.
I dreamed about finding wads of cash from some gangstas, and escaping from them on a skateboard with my third grade girl best friend, riding down steep hills.
Then the 5am alarm on my cell phone goes off. (Still no phone service)
For some reason I do feel pretty tired but energetic at the same time, more talkative, and loud.
Maybe because I held off on the masturbating? And all that energy has redirected itself?
I get some gas.
6:10am I am at Starbucks, having coffee, writing this.
I can feel my tooth giving some pressure, the tooth where I got the root canal but not the $900 for a crown.
I don’t want to call it pain.
The other one has cracked in half. I’m not happy about it. I can’t smile the same.
Luckily it is toward the corner, but not completely noticeable unless you pay attention.
Day 10: March 18th – My Birthday
Starting off the morning with a cup of coffee at Starbucks, about to work on the design for this shirt.
5pm off work.
Was going to finish the shirt at lunch, but I worked through it. $7.00 more in my pocket though.
Picked up my son because who else would I want to spend my birthday with more than him?
No idea where we are going. I get us some Taco Bell, and then to Michaels crafts store so I can return a couple of shirts.
Don’t want to go to my mom’s because they might have made me a birthday cake.
The roaches there are insane.
They might mean well, but I just can’t do it.
I get $5.00 back and decide to go to Earthfare supermarket to finish prepping my shirt to paint, but first my son wants to hit the punching bag inside Dicks Sporting goods before we leave.
Of course I let him practice his ninja moves!
It’s been a cold day and it’s wet.
I finish the shirt, buy him a brownie, and now it’s 8:40pm.
I take him back to his mom, and sit in the warm Starbucks until it closes.
Then I go to Cookout to sit. I see Bay who doesn’t know I’m sleeping in my truck, chat with him, and it is 11:15pm when I get to bed.
I’m parked outside my mom’s trailer.
It is cold.
It is hard to get to sleep since it is not the most comfortable situation, as you shiver and burrow under the blankets. I’m thank
Most of the time I am tired but not able to sleep because of the discomfort.
It works best to be exhausted, so that way when you get to “bed” you sleep better it seems.
Those brief moments you do drift into sleep, are deep sleep.
To be continued…